I cannot believe January is almost over! This month just flew by. Things have been normal but I have been dealing with a bout of depression. My weight (still haven’t lost those 10 pounds) isn’t helping my depression and I just feel blah. And the thing is, I really don’t have anything major to be depressed about. The past problems (those of you who know, know what I am talking about) still creep up every now and then but they are not the main reason why I feel depressed. And I really cannot pin point the cause of the depression. I just don’t feel very happy. I have a few books I wanted to read (no ereaders, I like the feel and smell of real books) but right now I just don’t feel like reading them. I also don’t feel like playing games (WoW or on the 360) and when I’m not working, cooking or cleaning, I just want to sit and watch mind numbing tv. It doesn’t help that my mind doubts everything. Thankfully, my stress level is not up (it has been way down since moving away from the stress inducer) so I don’t have to deal with that.

Amanda is a common name and many times in preteen/teenage life, I wish I had an uncommon or unique name. And even though there are still times I get a pang of jealousy when I hear a cool name, I am pretty happy with Amanda. I’m even more happy with why my parents (or should I say my Dad) named me Amanda.

See, my Dad was fond of the actress who played Miss Kitty on the TV show Gunsmoke. Her name was Amanda Blake. When I was born, my Dad decided that I would be named Amanda. He forgot to tell my Mom about the change since they had decided beforehand to name me Lacey Lynnette. To say my Mom was shocked when they handed her “Amanda” is an understatement. My Mom and Dad hardly ever added the “A” sound when pronouncing my name so all my cards, presents and notes where addressed to “Manda” which is the name I prefer.

My middle name is Sue, which is also my Mom’s middle name so I always assumed my middle name came from her. But I have never officially asked my Mom or Dad why they went with Sue.

When me and Mike were pregnant with Raven, we decided to name her after Edgar Allen Poe’s poem “The Raven”. I wanted something unique and always had a fondness for that particular poem of his (though The Black Cat is my favorite). Also, my grandfather (my Mom’s Dad who died when my Mom was 8 months old) was half Native American and the name Raven has Native American ties to it. So I thought it was fitting. Her middle name is Jane, which we named her after my Nan (grandmother who is named Mary Jane) who passed away almost a year ago. Her and Raven where extremely close.

What about you? Are you named after someone, something?

I have so many things I need/want to do and I just cannot seem to fit them all in during the day. I would cut back on sleep but I am one of these people that cannot function properly on a mere 4 or 5 hours of sleep. Even with 8 hours of sleep and the proper dosage of iron pills as prescribed by my doctor, I am still tired. That is mainly due to the almost non-existent iron in my body (I have severe iron- deficiency anemia and my body cannot hold onto iron which means I have no iron reserve and am always tired). Anyway, I need a few extra hours during the day to get everything done. I really envy those who can go! go! go! with only a few hours of sleep. Anyway, it’s almost 1:30am and I should have went to bed a few hours ago. The cats have been reminding me in a not-so-subtle way that they too are ready to hit the hay. Goodnight all!

January

• Went to Ohio for a late Christmas dinner with my Dad, stepmom and stepbrothers.
• My Nan (grandma) passed away on the 17th. I miss that old, perverted woman so much and there is not a day that goes by that I do not think about her.
• My grandpa who lives in Ohio passed away on the 22nd.

February

• Bought my husband a WoW Alliance ring for Valentine’s Day.
• Had the best Valentine’s Day I had had in about 4 years.

March

• Celebrated Mike’s 32nd birthday.
• Battled a major cold for several weeks.
• Started a vegetable garden.
• Became addicted to the mind numbing reality show The Jersey Shore.

April

• Celebrated my 31st birthday.
• Started the Couch-to-5K.
• Celebrated Raven’s 14th birthday.
• Bought my first pair of running shoes.
• My uncle passed away.
• Celebrated my Mom’s 53rd birthday.

May

• Fell in love with the TV show Twin Peaks.
• Found the house we wanted.
• Watched The Hangover 2 twice in the movie theaters.
• Celebrated Nan’s birthday with cake. This was the first birthday she celebrated in heaven.

June

• Cut down on how much pop I drunk, replacing it with water.
• Seemed like we would not get the house.
• Had a mini breakdown due to stress.
• Found 2 kittens outside and started taking care of them.

July

• We got the house!
• Closed on the house on the 14^th.
• My cousin Daniel towed my car for me to the family mechanic so the break lines could be fixed.
• Began working on the house.
• The girl kitten we found outside in June came up missing. We don’t know what happened to her.
• Photographed my stepbrother’s wedding.

August

• Spent half the month working on the house.
• Began getting the new kitten (who we named Nefarian)use to begin indoors and around Jedi and London.
• Moved into our home on the 18^th.
• Raven started high school.

September

• Still getting settled into our home.
• Photographed my stepbrother’s reception.

October

• Raven went to her first high school dance.
• Celebrated Halloween.

November

• Had a movie night at my house we my Mom.
• A major client of mine reduced their work load and our finances took a BIG hit.
• Started having bad headaches on the left side of my head that continue to this day,
• Went to my Sister-in-law’s baby shower.
• My Dad told me he is going to try to move back to WV!
• Celebrated Thanksgiving.

December

• Me and Mike celebrated our 10^th wedding anniversary.
• Kept remarking about how it does not feel like Christmas.
• Celebrated Christmas.
• Took maternity photos for my sister-in-law.