Off With Her Head

I want to start off by saying this post is in no way directed towards anyone in particular. One of the bloggers (Catie) that I have on my facebook friends list regularly comments on the topics in this post and I have read what she and others have said on the subject. And it is what the others have said that have inspired me to write this post.

When the topics of breastfeeding, circumcision and vaccination come up, you get many people trying to force their opinions on you. They usually say something along the lines of “you’re not informed” or “you’re uneducated about the topic” because if you disagree with them, then that means you are WRONG and they need to CORRECT you. To them, it has nothing to do with personal choice or parenting style. It’s their way or the wrong way, and they will make damn sure you know how stupid and uncaring to your child you are by not following their beliefs/actions. And then, God forbid, you still don’t agree they tell you to “GTFO”. There is no middle ground, there’s no agreeing to disagree. They don’t seem to understand that people have different beliefs/views on these subjects, that for all their articles backing up their opinions there are just as many backing up their opposition’s opinions as well. Hell, they have even compared circumcision, vaccination and not breastfeeding to child abuse.

Breastfeeding
I didn’t breastfeed Raven and if I ever had another child, I still wouldn’t breastfeed.  Not because I can’t, but because I didn’t/don’t want to. I had Raven just 9 days after my 17th birthday and the thought of me breastfeeding turned my stomach. Hell, it still turns my stomach. Now let me clarify that, the thought of ME breastfeeding turns my stomach, not seeing someone else do it. The few times I have actually noticed a mother breastfeeding you couldn’t see anything but maybe the back of the child’s head. And trust me, I was looking (hey, I’m a pervert and get it honestly). But even if the women wouldn’t want to cover up at all, it still wouldn’t bother me. Breastfeeding is what boobs were made for. Hell, if a woman just wanted to whip her boob out in public for no other reason than to say “Look at my boob”, it wouldn’t bother me one bit. I would look, maybe take a picture or two but I wouldn’t feel offended or disgusted. It’s just a boob.

What I don’t like is this seemingly growing trend that many breastfeeders have with their holier than thou attitude that if you didn’t breastfeed then your child will not be as smart as a breastfed child, you won’t have a good bond with them and you just don’t care or love them as much as they love their child. I call bullshit, big bullshit. My daughter didn’t have any breast milk what so ever, all formula feed, and she makes straight As and is an extremely talented, and well-mannered young women. And our bond seems to be at the very least (but probably better than) above average for most other mother/daughter bonds. And I won’t even dignify the whole “you don’t love your child as much as you should or you would breastfeed” agreement because that is nothing more than a scare tactic that many breastfeeders use. Also, the whole “statistics/studies/articles show” argument is invalid IMHO because you can find a statistic, article or study that says just about anything you want it to. For example, a quick search turned up this article. Now, I’m not saying women shouldn’t breastfeed. What I am saying is that people shouldn’t be demonizing others because they choose a path different then their own and really, is it any of your business whether a women chooses to breastfeed or not? Whether to breastfeed or not does not reflex how smart the child will be, how much you love them or how much of a bond you will have with him. All these breastfeeders are doing is trying to scare the mother into their way of thinking, which is in no way any less worse than what they accuse formula companies of doing to “trick” mothers into not breastfeeding.

Circumcision
Whether a parent decides to circumcise their son is between them and their doctor. I know that most other countries do not regularly circumcise babies and I have nothing against an intact penis. Ewan McGregor is intact (and willing to show his huge light saber in many of his movies) and there is nothing wrong with that penis what so ever. However, if I ever had a son I would have him circumcised because 1. My husband would want it that way and since he has a penis and I don’t, he knows more about them then I do (I can feel the anti-circumcision people’s blood pressuring rising over that comment) and 2. My husband is circumcised and in his 33 years he has never had any problems yet we had an older family member who wasn’t circumcised and he had nothing but problems because of it.

What bothers me is how some of the people who are against circumcision act. For example, one women berated another who disagreed with her opinion because as she put it “It’s not my penis, its my son’s and he has the right to decide what happens with it” yet she sees no problem in piercing her 5 month old babies ears. Yes, I know piercings can grow over but it’s still pretty hypocritical if you ask me.

It also gets my blood to boil when I hear these people tell soon-to-be mothers that they have the only say when it comes to circumcision and to pretty much ignore the father’s opinion if he doesn’t agree. How is that a good, healthy relationship if one parent can completely overrule the other on something as important as to circumcise or not? Do they not feel that if the father has an active role in the child’s life, then he should have 50 percent say in whether the baby is circumcised or not. It is not a decision that should be left to one parent alone when both parents are actively in the baby’s life. So, you either want the father to be involved or you don’t. You can’t expect his involvement only when you deem fit or whenever he agrees with you. And the whole “I birthed him so I get finale say” is bullshit. If you truly believe that then how can you expect the father to also pay child support and/or care for the baby?

To me, this attitude and these actions are nothing more than an elitist mentality that seems to be running rampid in society. I have more important things to worry about in my life than whether or not Penny down the road is going to breastfeed or circumcise little Joey. And frankly, it’s none of my damn business or for that matter anyone else’s damn business either.

So, now that I given my long-winded opinion/rant on the subject, let me here yours.